(E10)-01-Gratitude-is-Uncommon

Good evening to all of you. Tonight the talk is on the appreciation of parents' love. You can also say gratitude to our parents. And there is a very appropriate word for this, which is filial piety. In Chinese we say hao shun. So in the Buddha's teachings, gratitude of our parents, is a very important quality to cultivate. And for us to have gratitude to our parents, we must appreciate how much they have done for us. So most of us, we tend to forget how much our parents have done for us. And that is why Ingratitude, not having gratitude, is very common. But to have gratitude, that is not common. The Buddha said to find grateful people in the world is very difficult. Most people in the world are ungrateful, even our friends. Sometimes we have been very good to our friends, we have helped them, and later they forget about us. Our parents are much more important than our friends. That is why we have to remember to be grateful to our parents for all that they have done for us.

(E10)-02-How-much-our-parents-have-done-for-us-to--Baby

And tonight I hope to share with you some of the memory of what our parents have done for us to bring up this sense of appreciation of our parents' love. We all know that before we were born, we were in our mother's womb for about nine months. And even the Buddha says that our mother carried us in the womb as a heavy burden and with much anxiety for our well-being. Even before we were born, our mother was already worried for us. in the sense of she would worry that she does not take the wrong food that would be harmful for the baby. She would be worried that she does not over strain herself so that the baby is not born. And in other ways. And then when we are in our mother's womb, all the food that our mother took, that should have gone into her own body. went into our body, because when the baby is a fetus, it's like a tumor in your body, cancerous tumor. Whatever food you take, the tumor will absorb and the tumor becomes bigger and bigger and bigger and grow. So in the same way, as a fetus, as a baby in the womb, whatever our mother took, food and the blood everything went into us as a baby and then later after nine months the mother will give birth to the baby and this is a very painful experience in case some of you do not know many years ago when one of my sisters gave birth to her first baby and I went to the hospital with her husband, and then I was outside the delivery room. And when my sister gave birth, I could hear her screaming her head off in pain. Then later only I understood, oh, childbirth is so painful. You know, sometimes we have a bowel movement. You want to shit. And the shit is having trouble coming out. And we have what we call stomach ache. The shit is not very big. But when it's trying to come out, you feel so great pain sometimes when it's difficult to come out. But you think about the baby. When the baby is about to be born, it's about three and a half kilograms. Three and a half kilograms thing trying to come out of your womb is a terrible thing. Imagine if you had a shit half a kilogram trying to come out. That would be terrible pain. But three and a half kilograms is really terrible. So, especially the first birth of a woman is a very, very painful experience. And that was what our mother experienced when we were born. And then after we were born, we gave our parents sleepless nights. Every night, crying as a baby. Babies tend to cry at night when they are hungry, when they wet their bed, when they have a stomachache. So that was how much problem we gave our parents when we were a little baby. Then, after that, we still gave them a lot of trouble by dirtying our nappies, our linen, or dirtying our trousers, and sometimes even shitting on the floor. And our mother especially had to mop up and clean us whenever we dirty ourselves. Then when we became sick, they also were sick with worry for us. I don't know about you, but when I was young, I used to get sick very often. And I remember whenever I get sick, My mother would be worried over me, give her sleepless nights. Sometimes when I was a young baby and I couldn't sleep at night and I cried, I remember my mother would carry me on her back and walk and walk around the room trying to get me to sleep. Also, when I was young, because I became sick many times, quite often, she had to spend a lot of money on me. And probably many of you also was like that. When we are young, we tend to get sick quite often. And it is a very heavy financial burden on our parents. Sometimes, like in my parents' case, they had to bring up eight children when I was the youngest. And they had just enough money to survive, just to manage. And sometimes when we get sick more often than we should, then it places a great strain on them.

(E10)-03-How-much-our-parents-have-done-for-us-to-Child

And as a child, as we grew up, sometimes we are very unreasonable. We want this and we want that. And it's not one day or two days, but day in and day out. We make a lot of demands on our parents. And sometimes we are fussy about the food. And sometimes we get angry and go into this anger tantrums. And sometimes our parents may beat us. But when they beat us, they don't get any pleasure out of it. They do it for our own good. So even that kind of beating, we should appreciate because If you look around, you find there are some people who are spoiled. Their parents never beat them and they are spoiled to the extent that they grow up and become gangsters and become crooked people because their parents either did not have the time or did not have the wisdom to teach them the correct way. And in spite of us giving our parents so much trouble, they never threw us out of the house. They were always patient with us. And before we were able to walk or to walk far, they carried us around. You see a lot of parents carrying their babies. Then as we grew older, they would drive us to school or from school. And sometimes they would drive us to this place or to that place because we want to enjoy ourselves. So whatever place they think we like to go, they would drive us. And then many times they comforted us, especially as children we cry so often. They would comfort us by his presence, teach us how to walk, to eat, to speak, to go to the toilet, to get dressed, and how to behave in public or in society.

(E10)-04-How-much-our-parents-have-done-for-us-to-Teenager

And then as we grew bigger, like in our teenage years, they tried to guide us and steer us from dangerous situations and acquaintances, friends. Because as young people, Many of us, we don't know what is good and what is bad for us. Sometimes we mix with bad company. And because our parents know better than us, they always try to help us avoid bad company. But sometimes when we are young, we tend to be rebellious. and we think that our parents are unreasonable. And sometimes our friends take cigarettes, we also want to take cigarettes. Our friends take liquor, we also want to take liquor. But the end result of all this is actually very bad. But when you are young, you don't know. Many years ago, 1987, I came back from Thailand. I had spent 1986 in Thailand. So I came back to Malaysia. I was looking for a cave to stay. So I went around Ipoh, looking at many caves. And I found a dark cave behind Simpang Polai. And I stayed there for about four months. And because the cave was very lonely, about one mile from Simpang Polai village. Sometimes these children will go and hide out there. I used to see about 10-year-old kids, they go with their friends, they go hide there and smoke. And that's the beginning of these drug addicts. They will start by smoking cigarettes, and later their friends will ask them to smoke drugs. And if they don't want, their friend will tease them, coward. And because your friends tease you, you want to show you are a macho, you are a hero. You also take all these things and you get into problems. And sometimes we see in the newspapers, teenage girls, they... because they... mother or father gave them some scolding, they run away from the home. They don't know how much they make their parents worry. I personally know of one of my supporters, the daughter was about 15 or 16 and then because The parents scolded her a bit. She ran away from the house, from the home, and disappeared for a long time. And the father was worried sick. And in this kind of situation, if you go and ask the police to look, they won't be able to find. So what did he do? He went to look for some tai khor, asked the tai khor to make enquiries. So the tai khor asked some other tai khor, who asked some other tai khor. And from the state of Penang, finally located the daughter in Johor. So he went all the way to bring the daughter back. And when he went to get the daughter from this small town in Johor, daughter was working in a unisex hair saloon. And then the Thai Kor there told him, told the father, he said, lucky you didn't contact the police. If you contacted the police, you'll never see your daughter again. A lot of these young people, they don't realize, you get into the clutches of these Thai Kor, they do with you as they like. And if you try to be funny, they can just kill you and throw you somewhere, nobody will ever see you again. So, After that experience, I suppose that girl never ran away from home again. And for people like you, your parents have been very good in giving you a higher education. And some of you, I think, your parents had to slog very hard to finance your higher education. And the Buddha said that our parents were our first teachers. Our parents, when we were young, a lot of things we didn't know. And our parents taught us so many things, sometimes we have forgotten. You know, they have found that there were some children who have been found in the wild, sometimes one for some reason or other, they were lost in the wild and brought up by wolves. And such children who were brought up by wolves, they behaved like wolves. They didn't behave like human beings. So it does not mean that just because you are born as a human being that you will behave like a human being. You have to be taught to behave like a human being. So that's what our parents have done for us. They taught us to behave as a proper human being. And the dedication, the commitment of our parents and all the love and all the care to make our life as good and as happy as possible. They went to great lengths to care for our welfare and our happiness. And one day, when many of you become a parent yourself, either a mother or a father, and then you will realize how much trouble and how much love you give to your child. And when you realize how great your love for your child is, then you will realize how much your parents loved you when you were young, when you were little. When we are young, sometimes we magnify our parents' faults. Of course, our parents are not arahants. Our parents are not samasambuddhas. They are not enlightened people. They don't have the wisdom of an Arahant or a Sammasambuddha. So, they have a lot of shortcomings. They have a lot of faults. But so do we have a lot of faults, a lot of shortcomings. So, but when we are young, we tend to magnify our parents' faults. And one day, when you yourself become a parent, then you will realize how much love you give your child. And then you remember how much love your parents gave you. Then whatever fault they had, all becomes unimportant. All their faults are unimportant because they had given you so much love. But if you are lucky to come from a poor family, you tend to appreciate your parents more. Why? Because like me, you could say I come from a poor family because there were eight children and my father was only a clerk. and my mother was not working. So my father's salary had to stretch to cover ten people, the parents and the eight children. So we didn't have a very easy life. I remember when I was young, I used to wear some of my shirt broken. And then later, my elder sister, many years later, my elder sister told me, one day, some people went to the neighbor's house to play mahjong. And then these neighbor's friends, they saw me, small boy in broken shirt. Then they passed a comment, who is this beggar's son? So when my sister heard that remark, my eldest sister, she felt very hurt. And later when she started working, She gave most, the first month she took her salary, most of the money she gave my mother. But the balance she kept for herself a little, she used that to buy a shirt for me. Because she remembered that people made this kind of remark. So because under poor circumstances, you find that everybody in the family has to work harder. to survive. And because you see your mother working so hard, you see your father working so hard, then you appreciate them more. But people who come from middle class families, they are better off, they don't see their parents working so hard. Maybe their parents work in air-con rooms, air-con office, but it doesn't mean that they don't work so hard. They might not physically work so hard, but they still have a lot of mental problems. And later, as you start working, then you will find that when you work, the Chinese saying, you have to look at your boss' face. If the boss is not happy with you, put on a sour face or something, then you have to be careful. Yes or not? Even if your parents work in air-con room, they also have a lot of problems. So if you come from a middle-class family, just because you don't see your parents working so hard and suffer so much, does not really mean that they don't suffer for you.

(E10)-05-What-did-the-Buddha-say

I will give you some quotes from the Buddha. In the Anguttara Nikaya, the Buddha said, Brahma, monks, is a term for mother and father. Brahma in the Hindu tradition or in India, Brahma means God. So here the Buddha is saying, God, monks, is a term for mother and father. Ancient teachers, monks, is a term for mother and father. Worthy of offerings, monks, is a term for mother and father. Why so? Because mother and father do much for their children. They bring them up nourish them and introduce them to the world. So here the Buddha is saying that our mother and father should be considered on par, on equal terms with God Himself. In other words, we should venerate, we should pay respect to our mother and father like God. And he also calls them ancient teachers, because ever since we were born, they were our first teachers. And so they are worthy of offerings. Now, you will notice here, the Buddha says mother and father. Mata Pitu in Pali. Actually, You know how Bahasa Malaysia, a lot of our words in Bahasa Malaysia, about one third comes from Sanskrit. Bumi, putra, putri, muka, sabda, all these are rupa, all these are Sanskrit terms. And pali is very similar. So mother and father is mata, pitu. Mata, from there you get mother. In fact, some of the Indian words are very ancient, so they've even gone into English, like duo, D-U-A, or due, D-W-E, or duo, D-U-O. You get the English word duo, D-U-O, that comes from India, or dual, D-U-A-L, that comes from India. And centre, the English word centre, c-e-n-t-r-e, very probably when it was first coined, it was not centre, it was centra, centra, and the equivalent Indian word is centra, centra. So even English words, some of them come from India. So, Mata Pitu, mother, is always stated first. Because in the Indian tradition, mother is more important than father. So, in the Chinese tradition, we always talk about father first, yes or not? Father and then mother. But in India, They were wiser. We owe more to our mother than to our father because we all know that our mother took more care to bring us up, took much more trouble to bring us up. In a Buddhist country like Thailand, because of these Buddha's teachings, they actually venerate mother and father. In Thailand, they are taught, children are taught to bow to mother and father, to bow to monks, to bow to teachers. And if some of you are observant, you look at Malays, they also have great respect for their mother and father. Actually, Chinese, we used to have this kind of respect, but now we have forgotten about it. When the Confucian teachings and all that, we have a lot of respect for mother and father. Nowadays, people have forgotten. We see a lot of Hong Kong movies. that affects many of us. So, when I first came into Buddhism, I came to Buddhism in my late twenties. And when I studied the Buddha's teachings, before I came to the Buddha's teachings, I had an interest to study other religions. I studied the Bible, I studied the Koran, I studied the Bhagavad Gita, Hindu books, I studied the what we call Bengali books, Sikh books. I studied the Baha'i Taoism, Tao Te Ching and all that. Then when I came to Buddhism, I realized that the Buddha's teachings was very profound and very meaningful. And I also noticed that one of the important things in Buddhism, is the great respect we should show to our mother and father. So at the age of about around 30, after I come into Buddhism, I decided that I was going to show this respect to my mother and father. So on Chinese New Year day, I got up early in the morning, then I said, Happy New Year to my parents, then I bowed to them. bow to the floor to my mother and father. And then, they had never seen me do this before, and they were so touched that their eyes became wet. So after that, I tried to bow to them every Chinese New Year and on their birthday. So it is something that you all can learn Since it comes from the Buddha itself, it is a way of repaying your parents' kindness. And if you do this, they'll be so surprised that they'll appreciate you much more. Now, in another sutra, in the Anguttara Nikaya, the Buddha said, The unworthy person is ungrateful and forgetful of benefits received. But the worthy person is grateful and remembers benefits received. So, people who are no good, unworthy people, they have no gratitude. But a good person, a person with tautek, He is a grateful person. And the Buddha said, It is very difficult to repay our parents' kindness. The Buddha said that even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder, and carry your father on the other shoulder, and every day take care of them, and bathe them, and feed them, and massage them, and even if they were to shit on you, and you took care of them, carried them like this every day for 100 years, still you cannot repay your parents' kindness. Because when we were young and we were in real need, they took care of us. When we are young and helpless, that is the time when we really need somebody to take care of us. Imagine if we were left and our parents did not take care of us, we would not be able to survive. We would not be alive today. So many times when we were sick and if our parents did not take good care of us, we would have passed away many, many times. At that time, they took care of us. You know sometimes, when you need your friend's help and your friend comes to your assistance, that is a real friend. But when you don't need your friend's help, the fellow comes along. then you don't appreciate him so much. It's only when you really need somebody's help and he helps you, then you really appreciate. So our parents have done that for us when we really needed help. That's why the Buddha said it's very difficult to repay our parents' kindness. But the Buddha said, if you want to repay your parents' kindness, teach them four things. These four things. are quite important. The first one is to have faith in the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha. To have faith in the Triple Gem. The second is if they do not have sila, they don't know how to keep morality, precepts, that means they kill, maybe kill a chicken for you, kill a duck for you, or they break the precepts in some other way, but you teach them to keep the five precepts, panca sila, that is another way you repay your parents' kindness. The third one, if your parents are very selfish, they don't like to do charity, they are not generous, then you teach them to be generous, to like to posee, to help other people, That is another way you repay your parents' kindness. The fourth one is if they do not have wisdom, then you encourage them to listen to the Dhamma, or you teach them the Dhamma, or you get tapes on the Dhamma for them to listen, so that they have wisdom. That is another way you repay your parents' kindness. So, these four things. The first one, faith in the Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. Second one, morality. 3. Generosity 4. Wisdom Why are these four things important? Because if your parents practice these four things, they would have a good rebirth. either they go to heaven, or at least they come back as a human being. If somebody does not keep the precepts, or somebody is not generous, very selfish, or have no wisdom, then very likely that person will be reborn as a ghost, or as an animal, or even go to hell. So here you are helping your parents to have a good rebirth by teaching them these four things, faith, morality, generosity, and wisdom. And then if they cultivate these four things well, they may even become an Arya, Sengren, Sengjin, and they are on their way out of Samsara, out of this Fuhoi, These four conditions are also mentioned in some other sutra. The Buddha said, if you love somebody and you want to be reborn with that person in the next life, these four things should be similar. First one, your faith, that means your religion. Second one, whether you are equally moral or equally immoral. Third one, Generosity. Either you are equally generous or equally selfish. The fourth one, either you are equally wise or equally bodoh. Stupid. Then you'll be reborn together. So, remember, if you want those that you love to be reborn with you, these four things. Now, In one of the Buddha's discourses, the Buddha said, of all the heavy kamma, there are five types of kamma. Kamma is intentional action, which are the heaviest. That means the evil is very great for these five deeds. The first one is you kill an arahant. kill an arahant. An arahant is a liberated being. An arahant also includes a Buddha. So if you kill an arahant, that is an extremely heavy offence. Second one, you kill your mother. Third one, you kill your father. The fourth one, you hurt a Buddha by making his blood flow. That means intentionally you harm a Buddha and make his blood flow out. The fifth one, the monks or nuns, community of monks or nuns are in harmony and you create problem, batu api, you make them divide and split. So these five offenses are the most heavy offenses. And if you do any of these five heavy offenses, for sure, when you die, you will go to hell. Nobody can save you from going to hell. And you'll be there for a long time before you come up. So, you see, parents are so important that if you kill your mother and father, that is an extremely heavy offense.

(E10)-06-Parents-love-is-very-great

Our parents' love is so great that sometimes they can go to extremes for us. A few years ago, I was staying in Penang. Then I heard that a couple, a husband and wife, they went on the Penang Bridge with their small child, and they were a bit careless. On the Penang Bridge, they let the child play about, and the child fell from the bridge. And the moment the child fell, by instinct, the mother just jumped after the child. That shows how much love the mother has for the child. She never thought twice about herself. The moment the child fell, she jumped immediately to save the child. And both of them died. Then the other day I went to see my old mother in my brother's house and my brother was telling me that he saw a documentary film. And this deer, pack of deers, were attacked by these lions. And then this lion was about to eat the baby deer. Then the mother deer, with so much love for the baby deer, purposely went in front of the lion to distract the lion from killing her baby. So the lion killed the mother. That proves even in animals, this instinct of parents' love is extremely great.

(E10)-07-Effect-of-mistreating-parents

Sometimes there are some people, they have forgotten how much they owe their parents and it can be quite detrimental for them. I know personally of one person When he was young, the father used to beat him on occasions, because his heart was a bit small, small-hearted person. After so many years, he still remember, still held the grudge against the father for beating him. And when the father was old, father was in his seventies, and the father, you know, when you are old, you don't have so much hay, so much chi, a body. So when you walk on the bare floor, old people, they feel the cold in their legs. So the father wanted to wear slippers in the house, and this son he had bought this new house, and his parents were staying with him, and he just got married. So the wife was very particular, she thought her house. So when they saw the father-in-law wearing slippers, she didn't like it, so told the husband. So husband and wife criticized the son's father, didn't want him to wear slippers in the house. So because of things like this, the parents moved out of the house. And then, a few years later, the father died. And after the father died, then this man felt a lot of remorse, a lot of sorrow. And this kind of sorrow can be very damaging, because if you have this kind of remorse, you tend to hate yourself for doing this thing to your father. And then, because he had this hatred for himself, he tried to commit suicide many times. And then because of this hatred, he gets into depressions, deep depressions. That's why he wanted to commit suicide. So we have to be very careful of our karma. The Buddha said before we do an action, we must think about it. This karma that I'm going to do, going to harm somebody, I'm not going to harm myself. If it's going to harm somebody, I should not do it. And even when you are doing that karma, you should also contemplate, is this karma that I am doing now harming anybody? And even after you have done a karma, an action, you should contemplate, that action I did a few days ago, did it harm anybody? So if you contemplate like this, your karma will always be good. And if your karma is good, you'll be a very happy person. No remorse. Hóu huì. Hóu huì. then you're always smiling. But people who are not careful of their karma, they do wrong actions, later they regret. Nowadays you see a lot of people with depression, yes or not? People with depression have actually very bad karma, that's why they hate themselves. So, the other thing, the other reason why we should treat our parents very well, or our grandparents, It's because next time when you grow up and you have children, most of you probably will have children, whatever way you treat your parents, your children will observe. And then when you grow old, they will treat you in the same way. So if you treat your parents very well, the children learn from you. And then next time when you're older, they will treat you exactly the same way. That's why it's important that we treat our parents well. Nowadays there is a tendency for some people to send their parents to nursing homes. And I've been to some of these nursing homes, and I can tell you it's no good. I once went to a nursing home to see one old lady in KL. The son was paying or the daughter was paying about $900 every month. because the daughter and the husband had no time doing business to look after the mother, so they sent to this nursing home. When I went to see this old lady, she told me about what was happening in the nursing home, and it's not pleasant. I saw myself, because these workers, they employ from overseas. Bangladeshi, Indonesians. And these workers are low class people, you know. Low, low class people. And they are very rough. So I saw how they handle old men. Very rough with the old men until the old men cried. because many people they send their mother or father to this nursing home and they have no time to come and see and every day these old people they cannot bathe these workers have to bathe for them move them here and there so they are at the mercy of these workers and because they are at the mercy of these workers sometimes they get mistreated I was even told by this old lady that some of these young workers, they go and molest these old ladies at night. The old ladies are sleeping, these young workers go and molest them. And they scream at night, but other people, they're not going to help them. If they go and try to help them, they get bullied themselves.

(E10)-08-How-to-treat-our-parents

Now here I'd like to give some suggestions on how to treat your parents, especially when you grow a bit older and you have the opportunity to support your parents. Firstly is to support them in the house. especially when they are old don't send them to old folks home or to nursing home take care of them in the house and if you're going to spend like just now I quoted the case 900 ringgit to send the mother to the nursing home you can use the 900 ringgit and get an Indonesian maid for the same amount because if the maid is in the house and looks after the whole lady and you are around in the house they dare not bully the old lady. The second thing is to show a lot of respect to your parents, especially when they are very old, so that they are happy because they don't have many years left. For example, when you sit in the table, and your father sits in the chief place, and then Like now, when you are young, your parents give you an allowance, or at least most of you get an allowance from your parents. So when you are working, you should also give a monthly allowance to your parents, so that they have some pocket money and they are happy. And once in a while, you buy some gifts for them. and then bring them to the places they like to go. When you are young, they always bring you here and there. And very often, people, when they grow bigger, they have forgotten how much time their parents spent for them, and they have no time for their parents. So if your parents like to go and visit old friends, you should take the trouble to drive them here and there to visit old friends. And to ask every now and then if they need something, make them happy, to show that you care for them, ask them if they need something. And you should always remember that mother and father, you only have one. Even your wife you can change, or your husband also you can change, but your mother and father you cannot change. You're not happy with your wife, not happy with your husband, get another one. But mother you cannot change, father you cannot change. So lastly I remind you again that you want to repay your parents' kindness. Four things the Buddha taught is very important. Establish them in the faith. with faith in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, teach them to keep their precepts, teach them to be generous, and teach them to have wisdom by listening to the Dhamma.

(E10)-09-How-to-tranfer-merit

But then lastly, if your parents have passed away and you want to do some merit for them, if you do some merit for them, are they going to get it? I tell you, in one discourse, one sutta, the Buddha was approached by a Brahmin. And the Brahmin told the Buddha, he said, Bhagava, we Brahmins, when our relative passes away, we go and offer food. and then we burn this food. Ultimately, do our relatives get it or not? Just like this ching bing, ching ming. You go to the graveyard, you offer food. But Chinese different. After we offer food, we take home and walap. Makan. But for Indians, no. Indians, they offer the food, then they burn. So he asked the Buddha, actually, does my relative get the food or not? So the Buddha said, it depends on where your relative is reborn. In the original Buddha's teachings, when somebody dies, he can be reborn in five places. Later books talk about 六道轮回, originally it's 五道, five destinations of rebirth. First one, the best one is heaven. Heaven, there are many realms, many levels of heaven. Then second best is human. Human also different standard. If you are born in Africa, you suffer. Born in America, you have a better life. Then after that, three whole full planes. Of the three, the best is the ghost realm. Ghost realm. Worse than the ghost realm is the animal realm. Why is it worse? Because they kill and eat each other alive. Then the worst is the hell realm. So these are the five destinations of rebirth. Now the Buddha said, if your relative is reborn in heaven, he won't get and he won't need Nasarala. If reborn in the human plane, also cannot get. If reborn as an animal, also cannot get. Reborn in hell, also you cannot help. Only reborn as a ghost can help. Why? The Buddha did not explain why. But to continue with this sutra, the man asked, he said, what if my relative is not born as a ghost? Then the Buddha said, if this relative is not born as a ghost, very likely you have other relatives in the ghost realm. They will get it. Then the Buddha said, in the extreme case where you do not have any relative in the ghost realm, then you yourself will get the merit because you have done this offering, you will get the merit. So although the Buddha did not explain why, I personally believe it's because the ghosts come back. That's why our Chinese, we also believe after your relative passes away, few days later, seven days, comes back. And very often, actually comes back. Why? Because he makes some sign to let you know that he has come back. Sometimes you hear footsteps, sometimes the light will come on automatically, sometimes the fridge door will open automatically. It's all signal to let you know that he has come back, he or she has come back. Why do they want to let you know? Because if that person is born as a ghost, a lot of susa, Cannot get anything to eat. Have to walk the streets crying. At night, walk the streets hungry and crying, crying by the roadside. Looking for food. Have to eat shit. Have to eat dead chicken. All these dirty things. So because of that, now when that ghost is suffering, he will think, who can help me? Then he think, ah, maybe my son, my daughter will remember me. So the ghost will come back. And if he doesn't make a sign for you, sometimes he will make you dream that he has come back. So if you dream of your departed relative, then you should know that he needs some help. I tell you a true story, interesting true story. Many years ago, when I was in Penang, I had one supporter. The wife used to come to the temple to do offering, food offering to the monks, but the husband refused to come. He would drop the wife and then he'd go away. Two hours later he'd come back to pick the wife, but he refused to step into the temple because his habits were not very good, like to gamble and a lot of things he did was not very moral. Then one day he got sick, very sick, until he nearly died. Then he prayed to heaven for life. Then he made this kind of vow, he asked for life and he said if he lives he will change his ways, he will stop cheating people and he will come to the temple to learn the Dharma. So he managed to survive and after that he used to come and ask me questions about the Dharma and all that. Then one day, Chinese New Year time, he came to tell me He said, during Chinese New Year, the sister came back from KL to visit the mother in Penang, staying in the old wooden house. This man told me his younger brother died about 10 years ago. His younger brother at that time was about 20-something years old, and also liked to mix with bad company, drink liquor. So one day he was drunk, came back on the motorcycle, got into an accident, and died, and the lorry or something went over his body. So he died. Ten years, they had forgotten about this brother. But then, Chinese New Year time, when the sister came back from KL to visit the mother, the ghost of the brother entered the sister's body. I started calling out for the brother's name. This is my supporter, calling for the brother, saying that he was very hungry, saying that his stomach was in pain, probably because the lorry went over. So he was calling for his brother. So the mother got a shock. The mother asked him, who are you? Then he said his name, the son's name. The mother then realized that the son had become a ghost and come back. So the mother told him, you go back, go back to where you came from. Then after that he left. After that, my supporter came to know of this, then he told me. Then I told him, ten years your brother died, only now he is looking for you. Why? Because only now you have become interested in religion. Before he was interested in religion, his brother as a ghost knew that, no hope. If come and approach him, he don't know how to help. But now he's a Buddhist already, at least got some hope the brother can help him. That's why now his brother has become a Buddhist, the ghost brother came back and asked for help. So I advised him, I said, you at night, you go and light a joss stick and pray and tell your brother you are going to a few temples and offer food and offer either a robe or a piece of cloth to the monks and transfer the merit to your brother. So it's best before you make that offering to tell your ghost relative that you're going to do this for him. And after that, he did this. I told him to do like three nights in a row. Tell the brother, then you go and make that offering. And after that, before you make another offering, another temple, again you inform him three nights in a row, then you go and make that offering. You tell the brother that you are making this offering on his behalf, representing him to do this dana, this offering. So he did that, and after that, no news from his brother. No news is good news. So I shall end here, and I hope you have a lot of questions to ask.

(E10)-10-Buddhist-view-of-the-Creator-God

Okay, before you ask any question, I'd like to bring up one topic to discuss with you. Sometimes people say in Buddhism that we don't believe in the Creator God. True or not? Yes and no. You see, if you talk to people from other religions who believe in the Creator God, And you say that we don't believe in a Creator God. You get very annoyed. So we should not say that we don't believe in a Creator God. Why? Because firstly, you have to be very clear what you mean by a Creator God. People mean a kind of force, a kind of power that rules the world, that makes the world go the way it goes, that makes the earth turn, that makes gravity work. Now in Buddhism, we do believe in such a force, the force that rules the earth in a way For example, if you plant a ramutan seed, can you get a durian fruit? Cannot. If you plant a ramutan seed, you're going to get a ramutan fruit. And if you plant a durian seed, you're going to get durian fruits. So, in Buddhism, just like in Christian science, God to us is not a personal being. God is an impersonal force, a kind of force that governs the world. In simple layman terms, we call it nature. Nature is the kind of force that governs the world. And this nature, in Buddhism, we call Dhamma. And what Buddhism is all about is trying to understand the laws of nature. trying to understand how the world works because if you understand how the world works you can accord with the laws of the world and you will not get into problems. For example, if you are going to drive in Malaysia, firstly you must understand that you are supposed to drive on the left side of the road, that's enough. So if you drive on the left side of the road, and you understand a bit of the highway code, the rules, for example, you see a red light, it doesn't ask you to speed, it asks you to stop, that's enough. You see a green light, boleh jalan. If you understand this law about driving on the road, you won't get into accident. Now, when you go to America, the law is slightly different. You must drive on the right side of the road. Yes or no? You cannot argue, oh, I used to drive on the left side of the road, why should I drive on the right side? That's enough. When you go to America, the law is you drive on the right side. So you don't make any complaint, you quietly drive on the right side of the road. So the important thing is not whether left side of the road is right or right side of the road is right. There's no such thing as right or wrong. Important thing is the law is like that, you follow the law. So Dhamma is teaching us how the laws of the world work. For example, law of gravity. Law of gravity, anything heavy, when you drop it, it must fall. Yes or no? Yes or no? It's not like some being made this thing fall. It's an impersonal force. Yes or no? And because this nature is impersonal, If you go against the laws of nature, you will get into problems. It doesn't matter whether you are a Buddhist or a Hindu or a Christian or a Muslim. You will get into problems. That's why you find people from every religion get cancer. Yes or no? Is there some religion that can claim people who follow my religion don't get cancer? No. Because this is impersonal, isn't it? There is no favoritism. So the important point is to understand those laws that affect us. And in Buddhism, one of the most important laws that affect us is Kammavipaka. So if you understand the law of Kammavipaka, if you hurt others, you will suffer. If you help others, you will be happy. Then we know this law, we accord with the law, we will be happy. The Buddha never asked us to walk his way. The Buddha gave us a choice. He said, this is the path that leads you to happiness. This is the path that leads you to suffering. You choose yourself. So the important thing is to understand these laws of nature, which is the Dhamma. You understand the Dhamma and you are caught with the Dhamma, you'll be a very happy person.

(E10)-11-How-to-stop-our-parents-from-killing

But there are two questions here. The first one goes like this. My mother likes to kill mice when she caught them. I often persuade my mother to leave them because it will create retribution according to Buddhism. But my mother said if she released them, the mice will destroy and eat the food. What is the way to persuade and advise her not to do so? Let me talk about this question first. about killing mice. To be frank with you, when I was a small boy, I also killed mice. That was because I did not understand the Dhamma. People said, when you see a snake, you must kill the snake. So when I saw a snake, also I used to kill the snake. Only when I came to Buddhism, then I realized that every living being wants to live. Every living being wants happiness, is afraid of suffering, is afraid of dying. Then when you realize that, then only you spare their life. So one way is to teach your mother the Dhamma. That takes time. And sometimes people who are related to us, it's very difficult to teach. So another way is if you see her catch the mice, You take it from her and you say you're going to bring it far away to release it. Bring it far away and drop it off in the forest somewhere. Probably may not survive, but at least you give it a fighting chance. So sometimes we have to do this. There are very many common problems. For example, if your mother She does not understand the dharma. She sees a lot of ants in the kitchen. She wants to kill all the ants with boiling water or something. So you use your wisdom. Try to see where these ants come from. Why are they around the kitchen? And sometimes you'll find the reason is because your dustbin is in the kitchen. So you take your dustbin and put it far away from the kitchen, maybe at the front gate or something. Then the ants will accumulate far away from the kitchen. Then your mother, not seeing the ants, won't be bothered. So the same with cockroaches. Cockroaches come because we leave a lot of food lying around and they have food to eat. If you clean up every time after a meal, you sweep and clean properly, there's less food around, less chance for them to multiply. You can also make cockroach traps or rat traps. You trap them and then you catch them far away.

(E10)-12-How-to-teach-our-stubborn-parents-Buddhism

The second question is, as Panti said, one of the ways to repay our parents is by establishing them to the Buddha, Dharma and the Sangha. But if they refuse this, what could we do? Actually, if they refuse, there is nothing much we can do. Because this affinity for a particular religion, has to do with past life. And there are some people, for a long time, they have not been going the right way. It's very difficult to change them. I know of one man in Penang. His auntie, the character was very bad. Always angry, always cursing people and all that. And then he tried to help the auntie by asking her to chant like Namo Tassa Bhagavato Arahato Sama Sambuddhassa. But because her kamma was so bad that when she tried to chant these few words, the words just could not come out. She tried and tried, the words could not come out until the tears came down from her eyes. To her, it was so difficult. because the affinity was there, was not there. And actually, her karma was very bad. Her karma was so bad that two days before she died, she broke out into one of her regular angry tantrums, violent and angry. At that time, she was in a nursing home. And in that state, nobody could control her. They had to call a doctor and give her an injection and make her, tranquilize her. And then she went to sleep. And that was two days before she died. And when she went to sleep, this man who told me the story, he went to see the auntie, and he was shocked. You know why? Two long teeth coming out. Two long teeth coming out. And the children of this auntie and this old man who told me, they were all shocked, about five of them in the room. And the two teeth was there for two days until the old lady died. When the old lady died, the teeth disappeared. Why? Because she took rebirth. That means before she died, you could already see that she had become that person, that being that was going to be reborn. This is often the case. One or two days before a person dies, you see the character of that person, you know where that person is going to be reborn. It's a real story, you know. A bit shocking, but good medicine. Give you some food for thought. The Buddha said, sangsara, the round of rebirth, is very frightening. Don't play a fool. You are careless with your karma, you get a bad rebirth, you suffer for a long time.

(E10)-13-How-to-deal-with-pests-at-home

Banteay, I personally have one question. Let's say I live in a wooden house, and then somehow the house is dominated by white ants, those ants which could consume all the woods, and then if you do not do something about it, the house will one day collapse. So what do you think my family should do? If we don't act on it, we will suffer, but if we act on it, the ants will. So what is the solution for this? You know, in the Buddha's teachings, our precepts are not like the Christian commandments. In the Christian commandments, it is said, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, etc. But in our Buddhist precepts, when we recite the precepts, The meaning is, I will undertake to train myself to abstain from killing. So you don't janji, you don't promise that you won't kill. You just say that you want to train yourself to try not to kill. So in Buddhism, the Buddha's teachings are very practical, very practical teachings. We try to refrain from killing if we can. Like in this case of the white ants, it is quite impossible to refrain from killing, because your house is going to collapse if you don't act against the white ants. That is why in the Buddha's teachings, the Buddha did not say that we must become vegetarians, because the Buddha knows that it is quite impossible for everyone to become a vegetarian. The Buddha gave the condition, if we want to take meat, we must have three conditions. We don't see, we don't hear and we don't suspect that the meat was purposely killed for us. In other words, if you go to the market and you buy meat of an animal that is already dead, That is acceptable. You cannot go and choose a live chicken and ask the fellow to slaughter the chicken for you. You cannot go to a restaurant and select a fish, a live fish, and ask the fellow to cook for you. So as long as the animal is already dead, it was not purposely killed for you, then boleh. Sometimes people say, you eat meat, it contributes to the killing of animals. Indirectly, yes. But you can't help it. Even if the whole world, everybody became vegetarians, still there'll be killing of animals. Because if the animals multiply so fast, then PLUS also cannot handle them on the highway. They'll be walking all over the highway and the byway. So that's why you see like in Malaysia, the government has to employ people to shoot stray dogs without license. Because if these dogs multiply so much, they will become rabid and become sick. And then they will bite you and you also become sick. That's why they have to control the number of dogs. So that's why the Buddha's teachings is very practical. If it's not necessary, we don't kill. We try as far as possible not to kill, but sometimes can't help it.

(E10)-14-Mahayana-ceremony-to-release-beings-from-Hell

There is another question. What is the purpose of qiu tou? This teaching about qiu tou, chao tou, is only found in Mahayana Buddhism, Chinese Buddhism. It is not part of original Buddhism. A monk like me, Buddhism has two main schools, Theravada and Mahayana. Theravada is the original teachings of the Buddha, and that means countries like Thailand, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Laos, and we wear this type of robe. And then Mahayana Buddhism developed 500 years after the Buddha passed away. That is why Mahayana books, they talk about tai-seng, siu-seng. Whereas our early books never talk about tai-seng, siu-seng, because during the Buddha's time, all the monks were united. Later, the monks split into different sects. That's why they talk about tai-seng, siu-seng. So Mahayana Buddhism is 500 years later, and Tibetan Buddhism is an offshoot of Mahayana Buddhism. And Tibetan Buddhism started 1200 years after the Buddha passed away. That's why they have a lot of later teachings like mantras, tantric Buddhism, mandalas, etc. So this Cyuttho is not found in original Buddhism. And the principle of Cyuttho is to like bring the beings out of hell. And in Mahayana Buddhism, they talk about the I-Lan-Che, Ulambana festival, where they try to get the beings out from hell. But in our original Buddha teachings, nobody can get anybody out from hell.

(E10)-15-What-is-actually-Living-Buddha

Master, there is a question about what is actually a Tibetan living Buddha? Who is a Tibetan living Buddha? This concept of the living Buddha is not found in original Buddhism because when you talk about a Buddha, generally you mean a sammasambuddha. Let me explain these terms. What do you mean by an arahant and a Buddha? Arahant comes from two words, arahata. It used to be called arahata. Ara means the spokes of a wheel, the spokes of a wheel. Hata means destroyed. That means an arahant or arahata is one who has destroyed the wheel of existence, samsara. That means he's not going to be reborn again. An arahant is not going to be reborn again. That means an arahant is a liberated person. and an arahant includes a buddha. What's the difference between a buddha and an arahant? A buddha is a self-enlightened arahant. That means a buddha, when he was reborn in the last life, there was no dhamma in the world. And when there's no Dhamma in the world, he has to strive by himself to enter Nibbāna, to become enlightened. Yes or not? Like our Sakyamuni Buddha. And my personal opinion is that all these Buddhas, they are generally Sakadagamin, second stage Arya. Because second stage Arya has only one life left. He must enter Nibbāna, just like a ripe durian must fall. So this kind of people like our Sakyamuni Buddha, because he was already a Sakadagami when he came in his last life, even though there is no Dhamma around, he will strive very hard and enter Nibbana and become enlightened. So that is a Buddha. Buddha is a self-enlightened Arahant. And a Buddha, there are two types of Buddha. 99.999% of Buddhas are Paceka Buddhas. Why? Because when a person becomes a Buddha, then he contemplates living beings, he finds that most people don't want to practice the Dharma. Most people don't want to go against their natural tendency of greed, hatred and delusion. So very difficult to teach living beings. That's why 99.99% of Buddhas are Pacikabuddhas. And once in a long time, you get a Samasambuddha. Our suttas, the Buddha said, when he looked into the last 91 world cycles, he saw only six Samasambuddhas. 91 world cycles so long, only six Samasambuddhas. I mean Samasambuddha is very difficult to find. So that is Samasambuddha. Now in our original teachings of the Buddha, the Buddha said that the next Samasambuddha who will come will be called Maitreya Buddha, also called Maitreya Buddha in Pali. In Chinese, it's called what? Mi Le Fo. Mi Le Fo. And in our sutras, the Buddha said, when man's age, average age, goes up to 80,000 years, when our lifespan is 80,000 years, then Mi Le Fo will appear. So before that time, there is no other Sammasambuddha. So these people who talk about who walk for live Buddhas, they don't understand this principle found in the original Buddha teachings. Because once a person has become enlightened, become a Buddha, a Buddha is an awakened one. Life actually is like a dream. When you awaken, you don't dream anymore. Why is life like a dream? Because the whole world is in consciousness. Do you believe that? The whole world is in consciousness. Although to us the world is so real, but it's no different from your dream. When you're dreaming at night, your dream is real as now. That's enough. It's only when you wake up only you realize, oh, it was only a dream. Now I prove to you two ways. One is, The world exists because we see, yes or not? We see the world. And we hear the sounds of the world. We smell, we taste and we touch. These five senses tell us there is an outer world. And the mind tells us there is an inner world. So these six senses working will tell you there is an outer and there is an inner world. If I take away your seeing consciousness, and you don't have eyes to see, you don't have anything to see with, then you are less one very important factor of the seeing. If I take away your hearing, then you can't hear any sound in the world. If I take away your senses one by one, ultimately there is no world. And sometimes we think that the eye sees the world, but the eye does not see the world. Because if the eye sees the world, you go for a quick operation, you take out your two eyes, put your two eyeballs here, and ask your eyes to see the world. Can see or not? Cannot see. And you don't need the eyes to see, because at night when you are dreaming, your eyes are closed, but you see another world. Yes or not? It's only consciousness that creates the world. So this is one proof. Another way is to look into your body. When you examine your body, you use science to examine your body, you find that your body is made up of cells. Millions and millions of cells. Yes or not? You have live cells, you have dead cells. The dead cells constitute your hair, your bone, your nail, etc. Your outer skin, these are dead cells. The rest is all live cells. Whether it's dead cells or live cells, it is all composed of molecules and atoms. But molecules are also atoms, right? So your body, which is made up of cells, is all made up of atoms, yeah? So your whole body is made up of atoms, right? Now, let's analyze an atom. When you look into an atom, you'll find it is similar to the sky when you look at night. When you look into the sky at night, you'll find it's 99.99999% empty. Here and there you'll find a star, a planet, a satellite, but the actual most of it is void, emptiness. Yes or no? Because an atom 99.9999% is empty, and your body is made out of atoms, that means your whole body 99.9999% is empty. Your body is no different from the air around you. Then why is it you see yourself as a human being with solid body? Now only science is beginning to realize that this 99.9999% emptiness is actually consciousness. Consciousness pervades a whole lot of space. So our consciousness makes us dream. Now you dream that you are a human being. And then one day you dream that you passed away from this life. Another dream will begin. Then you see yourself as another being. So it's all the working of consciousness. That's why in Buddhism mind is very important. Mind is like the software. the program that you put into your computer. What program you put into your computer when you open your computer, whatever comes on the screen, depends on your program. So in the same way, our mind, the show, that now we are dreaming we are a human being, depends on what program, on your kamma. Kamma is the program you put into your mind. What actions you do will govern what type of show you have. If you put in a lot of evil kamma, when you die, you see yourself in hell, being tortured, suffering. Because you don't realize it's a dream, it's like a nightmare. When you're having a nightmare, you're suffering in that nightmare. Yes or no? But when you wake up from that dream, then you realize, I was now so excited. Only a dream only. Yes or no? So the Buddha is the awakened one. We are all still dreaming. Actually, you find, you study the suttas, that many things the Buddha has said, now science is only beginning to discover. For example, in our suttas, the Buddha said that time has no beginning, and time has no end, and space is boundless, and consciousness can be developed until it is boundless. The first few things science has recently discovered, Professor Stephen Hawking now is saying the same thing that the Buddha said. Time has no beginning, time has no end, space is boundless. But Professor Stephen Hawking has not developed his mind like the Buddha, so he does not know that consciousness can be boundless. The other surprising thing that the Buddha has stated in the Sutta is that the Buddha said world systems expand and contract. Now scientists see all the stars are moving away from each other, but they don't know whether these stars will keep on moving forever. But Buddha has already said that the stars will move to a certain limit, after that they move back, they come nearer and nearer and nearer. Now we have a sun in our system. After a very, very long time, a second sun will come because the stars are all coming nearer and nearer. And when a second sun comes, our earth becomes so hot that all human beings will die, all animals will die, all plants will die. Then later, a third sun will appear. and then slowly the rivers will dry up, the ponds will dry up, and then the fourth sun will appear, and then the big rivers also will dry up, the ocean becomes shallower and shallower, until seven suns appear, all the stars come together, and the whole thing will burn, burn and then will come together, and then comes together becomes what? black hole. Science now calls it a black hole. Then after a long time, it will explode in a big bang. Explode and then everything will start again. All this the Buddha saw already. Now science only beginning to discover.